Ants on a Blog

'We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep. They are coming.'

8.03.2008

Logic Problem

Despite a somewhat slow spring and early summer, over the last two years Hip Replacement has been doing very well. We've averaged about a gig per month with exceptions both ways and have landed a lot of great gigs. This is a complete turn around from our early days, which consisted of very few gigs and none of them great (Kings of Ice Cream Socials).

Last night, we played at a most prestigious Minneapolis venue. The sound man at this bar is perhaps the best sound man I've ever worked with. We've only worked with him twice now, but I would never hesitate to play any gig this guy runs.

Bands are treated really well where we played, what with being given a couple cases of beer and 50 complimentary tickets to give out in order to fill the room. So with a great sound man, an awesome location (practically right down the street from our rehearsal space), and being treated well, it's hard to think of reasons not to want to play there. Last night, however, the bar left me with a bad taste in my mouth--and it wasn't the complimentary High Life.

The Shitpagne of Beer.

When it came time for them to cut our check for headlining on a Saturday night, the invoice included a curious item: "cover songs $-6.00."

Really?

Out of our 15-song set list last night, five were covers--and a vast majority of the people possibly never heard three of those five (unless they've seen us play before). None of us have ever seen anything like this before, and a lot of us have played a lot of shows (covers and otherwise).

Granted, we're still pretty much a no-name band, but they were only going to pay us $100. After being invited only five days in advance. To headline. On a Saturday night. After we had to be there since 5pm (we went on at 11:45). On a night when one of the opening acts was a no-show. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but we've been paid more for less work and fewer pains and to play in front of fewer people (thanks again if you came out to see us!).

On top of all that, we get docked $6 for playing covers? Of course, it's only $6, but are we supposed to look the other way just because we're being nickel-n-dimed?

The irony struck me stupid for a few minutes. Original acts have to fight to get any gigs in Minneapolis or anywhere without playing covers. I guarantee that down the street last night at any given bar, a cover band was paid $300 to play the same top forty hits that they played last weekend and the weekend before and before (back until those songs were contemporary). Would those bars dock $6 if a cover band threw in a few original songs? F no. They wouldn't even notice; they'd too busy raking money like so many leaves into piles for diving into like Scrooge McDuck.

At some point in every musician's career, covers are a necessary step. You have to prove that you understand how songs become hits, and also prove that you can play them, in order to prove that your original music is worth a damn. It's a competitive market in which there is an innumerable amount of people with the shared dream of playing music for the masses. I will always prefer original music to covers, but at base I respect anyone out there playing. It might not seem like all that big of a step from the basement to the stage, but it's one that puts a musician ahead of a gear-fetishist and brand-snob who never puts all that technology nor specialized equipment to use.

The fallacy of every music scene is that covers were once new, original music that became popularized by radio and video. They became people's favorite songs, and when those people go out, they want to hear their favorite songs because they know them. Bars know this, so they are more likely to hire bands that will make their general occupants happy. Happy occupants = drunker occupants = richer bar. Bands know that bars know this, too. If music is the supply, it will naturally follow the demand. Bands with more gigs = richer bands = happy bands.

The bar we played at last night has always prided itself in being a supporter of live, original music. That's great. But is charging an original act that happens to play a couple covers really supportive? In a music scene that, again, breeds cover bands? When they're only paying the headliner $100, anyway? Or is it greed, thinly-veiled with altruistic policy? The $5.25 they charge for a bottle of beer certainly supports that thought. It's perfectly fine if a venue picks and chooses who plays for them based on their music policy. If you want covers, hire cover bands. If you want original acts, hire original acts. In our case, if it's a slight mix of both, give us a heads up. That's how to be supportive. Is feeing us a solution to anything? I didn't know you can fee music.

When it comes down to it, I'd play any gig for free. HR is happy when we make enough gig money to pay for our monthly rent at the studio. So I don't mean to complain--though I'm sure that's exactly what it sounds like. I'd like rather to plead to venues not to make it harder than it already is to play music for people. We want to play at your bar for your thirsty occupants. But really, we just want to play.

Mace... out.

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3.16.2008

Seven Month Recap in Two Parts

Part One

So much for the last rebirth (and the one before that, and the one before that). This time, I mean it! I've taken uncomfortable steps towards ensuring that I'll keep myself honest and continue to update Ants on a Blog: I have sought out the aid of a long-time enemy: Facebook.

Yes, AssFacebook, that contraband website surfed in secret in English computer labs the country over. I've had a profile for a couple years, since back when I needed to find out exactly what my students would rather do than to listen to my dick-jokes in class. I didn't do anything with it then because it didn't focus on what I wanted to do: blog. There was little else I liked about FB at the time because Ants was already going strong and saw two and a half glorious years of attention. Then things changed, I came back to SLP, and there seemed fewer reasons to keep it up.

Excuses, excuses.

The most recent reason why I'm trying again came about while I was working on an application for a blogger position for a video game website (more on that in the future). I was asked to compile links to published online work relating to video games. Ants is the closest thing to that, so I scoured the three years of its existence, looking for posts that best exemplify my writing relating to video games.

I had a blast. Two things resulted from my scouring: I want to play chess again, and I want to write now as much as I used to. I failed to resurrect the blog before mainly because I didn't stick with it, but also because I wasn't reaching enough people. I have already reached out to a lot more people in my two days back on Facebook than I thought possible, so I have a feeling it will help inspire me to write more.

Here's hoping. Ultimately, though, the newest rebirth of Ants on a Blog could never be as awesome as Gandalf's Rebirth:


Part Two

Here's an up-and-down-the-ice recap of what's happened since September. The action will be fast-paced, so forgive me if I yadda-yadda-yadda over a few items that might require a little more explanation:


1) Amanda and I are getting married on October 18th. Yadda-yadda-yadda... I hope she wears this wedding dress.

What, oh what, indeed?

[Editor's Note: That's Kitty Pryde of the X-Men, you F'n dorks! The author is not ashamed to admit that this frame along with these hot Links are perhaps the sexiest and dorkiest pictures he's ever seen.]

2) Hip Replacement is starting to take off. We've seen some lineup changes that could normally kill a band: Andrew left us for Oregon for a doctorate program in Music Theory and Kubes is searching for himself and a place to park his van in San Fran. I have made the permanent switch to drum set, which could have been lethal but has gone well.

I love it. I am very happy to be playing drum set again. And we have a blazing horn section. These guys are as profesh as profesh gets and add an element to our music that we've never successfully nailed. Additionally, they are awesome people.

3) Job prospects are looking up. A couple months ago I applied for the two teaching positions at Normandale Community College. There was one opening for a one-year Visiting Artist in Creative Writing, and five openings for full-time English Faculty. I feel confident that I have a good chance at getting an interview at least. More on that as it unfolds, which should be soon.

As I mentioned above, I recently applied for a blogger position with a video games website. I think it might be a little unprofessional to be more detailed at this point. More on that as it unfolds, also hopefully soon.

Lastly, I have been taken on as a regular contributor for an up-coming Minneapolis-based online magazine called Juiceb0x. I will be covering things like video games, technology, and other general dorkery going on in the metro area. I am very excited for this opportunity. I will certainly update this space with more news about that, again, as it unfolds.

4) My hairy daughter, Willow Isa Luthien Tinuviel, is growing up, but she's still very much a silly kitty. I would supply a couple new choice pics of her, but my cell phone isn't cooperating with my computer--and I'm aiming for brevity here! Just know that she's beautiful, loving, and will rend your flesh from your bones if you don't play fetch with her. Come over and see her! Get some of these:

Here's another old pic that's still my favorite:

O HAI!!1 I CAN HAZ NAP IN PANTZ?

5) The Wild continue to stress me out like you wouldn't believe. They are technically doing well and are still in the playoff race. Sometimes, however, I feel like us hockey rubes could take them on and give Kim Johnsson something to mouth-breathe about.

6) Lastly, for now, Super Smash Bros: Brawl has been out for a week. How could things not be good?


Mace... Out.

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