No, Let Us Not Duel.

After several hours and metaphors through Hoagland, Donkey Gospel, and Dacy, The Deathbed Playboy, I got to take a break to wash a hundred dishes, make some dinner (mostaccioli with Italian Sausage & Garlic sauce and a Sam), and catch up on some Adult Swim.

You ask, "Why wasn't I watching English Premiere League Futbol like usual?" Because today I cut back our cable plan to save some ching. Don't you hate it when seven months ago you signed up for a super cheap, super kickass dual deal with 3bit cable internet + more movie and sports channels (Fox Soccer Channel) than you know what to do with? And then after five months the deal expires, and you forget to change it, so you're still stuck with the same package, which now is far from super cheap? Yeah I hate that too.

Without Liverpool v. Arsenal to watch anymore--I was watching the game while talking to the Charter CS guy, and he switched it off right before my eyes without a chance to say goodbye--without the EPL, I had to search for a few new channels to watch. My channels will once again be Cartoon Network and G4 plus, of course, OLN and FSN when the Wild are on.

Tonight, while masticating my mostaccioli, I caught up on some Aqau Teen Hunger Force and X-Play (Morgan = Love) and all was once again futbol-less. After ATHF, Samurai Champloo came on. I have an extensive history with anime. Much of my high school experience was spent watching Akira... 150 times. That's an estimate, not an exaggeration.


I bought a new vid every weekend during the height of my anime days. Sun Coast Video was my whiskey, and I've had a few. I can't remember exactly what combination of high school things eventually killed off my anime days. It was probably a combination of music, girls, and Quake 2.

Since then, I had one person to rely on for my connection to Asian entertainment, the stringed tin cans between me and Asia: Patrick. At some point during our much missed time in our much much much missed apartment in Southridge, Patrick had me watch Samurai Champloo--seriously, "had me watch" is the right way to say it. He more or less sat me down like he was pappa and he needed to tell his boner-in-sweatpants son about the birds-n-the-beez, only instead, he puts on Samurai Champloo.

Where to start? Shinichiro Watanabe (of Cowboy Bebop and The Animatrix fame) directs. Nujabes lends his DJ ear and style. This is one of the best, one of my favorite anime series. It's highly stylized, clever, and has as good of animation as I've ever seen, except maybe Steamboy--which, coincidentally, was directed by Katsuhiro Otomo of Akira fame.

SC is Samurai meets break dancing meets DJs meets capoeira.

It's been pretty clear for awhile that Japanime is taking over American "cartoon" styliez--'bout fucking time, if you ask me. But America actually had no style to take over. I mean, I'll always love G.I. Joe and Thundercats probably more than the next guy--probably more than I should--but there is no style in that animation. But now it does! I'm glad to see animation taking off over here, but--BUT... We're going too crazy.

Just because it's anime, doesn't mean it's good anime.

Half the shit they play on CN is junk the Japs didn't want. And once we overlay our goofy, American oaf voices--forgetaboutit.

Ya know that Yu-Gi-Oh show you've been watching?
It sucks. It's about cards.

Ya know Inuyasha? It sucks. The guy has a mullet and animal ears. This shit is borderline furrypr0n.

Ya know the newest Dragon Ball Z series? I don't know if there is one--but if there is, it sucks too.

Entertainment is not two clay-haired muscular dudes who are in a perpetual pre-fight state. They swear they're about to fight, but they never do. They just stand there, dialoguing, with quaking eyes and clenched fists--sometimes glowing. Sometimes they don't face each other; other times they float and talk. Then some crazy little dude with a tail shows up and says something that's supposed to be funny, but it's not because it doesn't translate well. A huge sweat drop appears on his head and the episode's over. The next-time-on-DBZ clip promises that they'll actually fight. Maybe. And who would want a shitty fan base that draws pictures like this? In short, DBZ can Goku straight to hell.

This is what we should be going crazy about: swords

Not cards.

That's a fucking card game. N.W.O.A. (Not Worthy of Animation). And don't tell me it's meant for kids. Look at that cardhall whore. She's not meant for kids. I know the Japanese are advanced--I mean they make square fucking watermellons--but their kids aren't having sex with busty blondes with an oral fixation and a fetish for gloved dudes who play the right card... at the right time.

No, let us not duel.

Let us rejoice, eat pasta, and watch Samurai Champloo.