I Wish I Meant "Centipede" the Video Game

Last night--or I should say "this morning"--I dreamt of killing centipedes. They started out small and harmless, like this house centipede here. But no matter how small and harmless they actually are, when it comes to bugs, few other things than centipedes flap my otherwise unflappable bravery in the face of insectoids. In my defense, I don't dart to other side of the bathroom if a small-one skitters across the sill of the tub. I don't jump up on the toilet seat if one scales Reed's filthy, disgusting, always-open drawer system under the sink. I'm pretty resilient, but cents still give me the feeling of full body pinart.

In related news: Apparently, we have ants.

I haven't seen any, before or after these ant domes. And here's the mystery that is Reed: There are several obvious ways to prevent ants like, oh I don't know, washing the dishes? Notice the huge fucking crumbs next to the ant dome. I guarantee you the crumbs were there first. Crumbs = Reason for Ants. Obvious Solution to Ants = Eliminate Crumbs. It's called a broom. We have three. Reed's Solution = Buy Ant Trap 2000 and Place Next to Crumbs. Is that supposed to be bait or something?

Anyway...

In the dream, these initial small-ones were no match for the edge of my flip-flop. My Rainbows were most victorious. Each new centipede, however, was bigger and more stubborn than the last. It was like a Boss-Battle, and I had to make it through the boss' many stages and forms. A few 'pedes into the battle, one looked like this:

Only it was longer and angrier and made me miss my Puma Romas. This one was so long, I could only try to stomp on a third of it at a time. And its biting back made that difficult. At least they never got this big:

Amanda likes to freak out about her dreams. She over-analyzes them to no end. She called me up once after taking a nap. She said she'd had a bad dream, a "nightmare." Her nightmare basically was that she was about to cheat on me with some dude. She wanted to, and was about to, but the dude turned her down. I believe this dream dude said he was gay. Of course it's touching and wonderful that the thought of cheating on me was enough to upset her, but I couldn't help but laugh and tell her that that was only a nightmare because she didn't get any.

The dream bothered her for a couple days, but really she had no reason to mull it over: At least she wasn't battling 'pedes. I don't read into dreams. That's junk, if you ask me. Dreams are great for their randomness and the interesting juxtapositions that arise, but trying to figure out a dream is asking for a headache. It's like... it's like... trying to figure out a dream. The reason for my centipede dream is obvious: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, what with its heavy insectoid imagery and artwork. But where was Samus when I needed her against the 'pedes?

Where were you, Samus?

Mace...out