Where's My DS?

...because I feel a [Picture] Dump comin' on.

First of all, let me apologize for the latency of this Dump. So much crap; so little time. Second of all, whoever designed graduation fashion never graduated from fashion school. You introduce me to the person who came up with the squared hat and I punch him in the neck--I'll even wear the hat while I punch. I write him because no woman would ever be so lacking of fashion sense to convince herself or anyone else that squared hats are distinguishingly academic-looking. No one looks good in these things. I'm convinced the whole cap/gown/squared hat thing is a last big faculty joke before their graduates go on to prove themselves as jokes in the "real world"--whatever the fuck that is.

On with the dump:

Let's forego the ceremony pics and get to the important aftermath.

The Two Most Important People in My Life (in No Order): !) Before either of my readers get a chance to comment--no, this is not my older sister. This is Ma. She can dance either of you--even Bryan--under the proverbial dancing table. And she could teach you, BM Seth, more than a few things about der bluezen.

@) The Hawk - I apologize to those who missed meeting my family. I planned on them all being around later than they could stay. I hate to admit for whom there was the most buzz about meeting, but The Hawk was #1 by far--mostly due to how much I've written about him, seeing as though he's a writing goldmine. Here he is, in all his Grizzly Adams/Gandalf Glory.

[Editor's Note: real numbers fixed] From left to right: #4 Brother Timmon, myself, The Hawk, #1 Brother Lucas.

Where's number #2?

#2 is Justin, and even if I could have gotten a hold of him (which I tried and failed to), he wouldn't have (been able to?) come. I'm not bitter; that's just the facts. I'm uber blessed and pleased with how many family were able to come as it was!

Far left: #5 Brother Dan.

Wait a second! I thought there were only FOUR Mason boys!!!1

OK, this is going to take some explaining: The hip gentlemen on the far left is Daniel Mason--common-law step brother. Here's the short history: Dan happens to share the same last name with we Masons. The Hawk and Dan's mother lived together for several years after my parents split up. Even before then, we were all church cronies at the church my Grandpa built--so there's family-friend history plus unacknowledged step-family history. It's all really fucked up, yes. Let's just call him Drunken Pirate Dan and be done with the whole weird soap opera, K? K.

At some point in every man's life, he must wear his father's hat. Most fathers' hats, however, aren't adorned with Red-Tailed Hawk tail feathers. You can tell that Sal took this pic because her bazillion camera flashes send my eyes scattering. No, I wasn't drunk. Yet.

Blue Bricks opens at noon on Saturdays. We were there at noon-fifteen. This man is #2 for the most buzz about meeting: T-Bone/T-Square/Green-T... The Infamous Timmon. Much later that evening, Koelsch and Zinnel came up with the best Timmon nickname ever: Intimmondator. Holy fuck. Why hadn't we thought of that before? Regardless, here is my brother, Timmon.

Later the evening, several SLPeeps arrived (several of whom have already been pictured here at AOAB). From left to right: He Who is Koelsch, myself, Zinnel, Grant, and Mal. Photographer: Sal--don't worry, babe; you're in the pics coming up! Location: Mexican Village. O, Mexican Village Burritos, how I love you. O, Mexican Village Burritos, how my toilet loathes you.

There she is, right in the middle of all that home-towny goodness.

Grant and Mal--who has an oak's patience for idiots like us. O Mal, Grant, someday we'll work out that foursome.

Koelsch can hold the camera. Stop flexing, Koelsch. That's so '82.

Whoa whoa whoa... Koelsch, meet Koelsch.

Whoa whoa whoa... Grant, meet Grant. What a cute couple. They even kissed after J2B2 started a game of Heinz Spin the Bottle.

It would be impossible to guestimate how many times I've drummed for Sara while she danced. But we don't need to tap that wellspring of sappiness yet again. Sara will always remember me by the "Unsung Hero" award that I left in her car after this year's Theatre and Dance Gala award ceremony. I guess that's the thing about unsung heroes: They don't complain about not being acknowledged, and they lose their awards when they are.

More dancers!: Megan and Bryan Who Thinks Naughtilie is Beautiful. Megan was one of the only dancers who I successfully taught how to Do the Whale--which sounds scandalous, now that I've written it. But I asure you that it simply involves a licked finger and taught calf skin. Shit. There's no way out of this one.

Megan: Fish in my hay-ah! Fish in my hay-ah!

Bryan: If you ever hope to get me into fishnet again, you'd better act quick.

[EN: So much unity!]

This is when things kinda got weird:

So, yeah, I have complex about my freakish hands, but it's Grant's right hand that's the cause of the face I'm making.

Girls!

Buddy Koelsch, Jack-n-Coke is not a man's drink. Jack is. Stop flexing. And if you're reading this, WhyTF are you reading this? You should be posting on the Blog of Eternal Stench instead. Also, stop flexing.

So like, who doesn't love Chard, right? I don't know so much about Jackass Next to Him, who made Chard wear his pink sweater. I think Chard knew him, but the look into the camera screams of just wanting to please everybody, even drunk acquaintances.

Things got weirder: Sad Mace. Sad Man. Kissing is the Zinnel.

And They Were Brought Together Again--Naughtilie and Bryan Who Thinks Naughtilie is Beautiful. Thanks, Bry. Now we'll never hear the end. Ahh shucks. Who isn't a sucker for poise?

Cherry coke has a profound effect on Zinnel. I think an intervention is in order. I'll bring cookies.

There are more cosmic things happening here than Brawnce and I posing for yet another picture. What doesn't Jessica see collected in the high tiles of Blue Bricks? What hasn't gotten caught up there to linger forever, smelling of smoke and sour beer spills, only traceable elsewhere in pictures on blogs?

Great pictures like this one. And countless others. Fond memories of experiences that I'll cherish forev--what? Tequila shots?! Sure!!!1

Mace...out

PS: If any-yall have pictures from this historic night that deserve publication at AOAB, send them please!